Holiday carolers might be polishing their song lists right now, but we’re already thinking ahead to spring. When temperatures begin
Quality Assurance Episode 8: Secret Butt
This week on Dead Air: The Show we have a very special guest in the stead of Joe Moore we have joining us the sultry and gorgeous Coty Sugg.
Come along and listen to us go on an Atlantan and Atlantic adventure, discuss the meaning of Irony and continue to brutalize Perry to his early grave.
The Choices we were presented with in Coty’s section:
What do? #1 (EVERYONE)
A: Check the phones for new messages.
B: Insult Perry.
C: Take a moment to discuss how scripted narratives with the illusion of choice are a load of bullshit.
D: Whisper something sultry in Joe’s ear.
What do? #2 (ADAM)
A: Kick Perry in the shin.
B: Suggest that the group do as instructed and head for the new destination.
C: Make a comment about the superiority of the British public transportation system.
D: Offer Joe a sensual back massage.
What do? #3 (PATRICK)
A: Contemplate the wonder that is Canadian bacon.
B: “Anyone else play the new Smash Bros yet?”
C: This place seems really empty for a major city.
D: Caress Joe’s thigh.
What do? # 4 (PERRY)
A: Man, what a shithole!
B: Can we talk about how awesome Harvester is?
C: Yell something profound into the void!
D: Sniff Joe’s hair.
What do? # 5 (ADAM)
A: Shut the fuck up Perry! (in the style of a 70’s sitcom catchphrase)
B: Shut the fuck up Perry! (with sheer, unadulterated rage in your voice)
C: Shut the fuck up Perry! (in the style of an exaggerated Japanese stereotype)
D: Lick Joe’s cheek.
What do # 6 (EVERYONE)
A: Give a nuanced critique of his performance.
B: Moving right along…
C: Boisterous applause!
D: Jump Joe’s bones, right here, right now.
What do # 7 (PATRICK)
A: Great, now we’ve got hobos. GET A JOB YOU FILTHY FUCKS!
B: Kick Perry in the junk and proceed to book it!
C: Fantastic. Freaking zombies. Is the writing in this story so bad that the author needs to resort to this tired fucking cliché?
D: Hide behind Joe, tenderly embracing him.
What do # 8 (PERRY)
A: I could sure go for some Five Guys right now!
B: Does anyone want to play some Project M?
C: Aren’t pancakes delicious? I like mine with extra syrup and blueberries!
D: I LOVE YOU JOE!
What do # 9 (ADAM)
A: I do love me some Five Guys!
B: Shut the fuck up Perry!
C: Quick Patirck, use one of your multiple personalities to save us!
D: I LOVE YOU MORE JOE!!
What do # 10 (PATRICK)
A: Quick, someone Google the location of the nearest Five Guys!
B: Shut the fuck up Perry!
C: Holy mother, our lady the Virgin Bayonetta, save us!
D: I LOVE YOU MOST JOE!!!
What do # 11 (PERRY)
A: I wish SuperTinaGirl6 was here.
B: IT’S NO USE!!!
C: So how about that Gamergate?
D: Leap into Joe’s arms like a scared little girl.
What do # 12 (ADAM)
A: So long mate!
B: Patrick, help the man!
C: Kick Perry in the nuts.
D: I’m a master at getting into people’s drawers, especially yours, Joe!
What do # 13 (EVERYONE)
A: NO! NOT JOE! TAKE PERRY INSTEAD!!!
B: NO! NOT JOE! TAKE ADAM INSTEAD!!!
C: NO! NOT JOE! TAKE PATRICK INSTEAD!!!
D: NO! NOT JOE! I WANTED TO DIG MY NAILS INTO HIS SOFT, TENDER, FLESH LIKE SOME KIND OF DEBASED AND MORALLESS, SADOMASACHISTIC DEVIANT!
What do # 14 (PATRICK)
A: Is anyone else really sick of zombie stories yet?
B: Steal Perry’s wallet.
C: Quick, everyone into that door which probably won’t lead to our certain and inevitable demise!
D: Profess your love (of obscure British game shows) to Joe.
What do # 15 (ADAM)
A: Answer the Skype call on your phone.
B: Make a joke about a noise coming out of your pants.
C: *Insult of your choice directed at Perry*
D: Curl up next to Joe on the couch in a warm, tender embrace.