First Impressions: Lovely Planet

I think we all can agree that the Death Star is a bad idea. Blowing up planets is just ethically wrong on so many levels. But despite any moral issues I have with the concept of the Death Star, some planets just need to get blown up by a laser of death, never to exist again. The key example of this idea is Lovely Planet.

Lovely Planet is a first person shooter developed by QUICKTEQUILA, taking place on the game’s titular Lovely Planet. However, Lovely might not be the right word for this game. It’s easily the most frustrating game I’ve played in a long time, but not in the encouraging Dark Souls style. I found that every single time I died, I got the overwhelming urge to alt tab out of the game and just play Doom.

On concept alone, the game isn’t bad at all. Just run and shoot targets, don’t miss a target or level failed. Sounds easy enough, at least until you realize the gunplay is awful. Not having a reticle isn’t a problem, but when you can’t even count on the way the gun’s pointing for accuracy there’s a major problem. It always took multiple practice shots for me to remember where my gun was even pointing, and it doesn’t help when pinpoint accuracy is needed.

Prepare to see this screen often

Prepare to see this screen often. Yes, that’s what the gun actually looks like.

Shoot a civilian by accident? Level failed. Miss an enemy? Level failed. Shoot a floating platform by accident? Level failed. The worst offenders are the flying apples, which will end your level the second they hit the ground. The problem is that your bullets move at a snail’s pace, and even if you’re accurate you’re not going to be able to hit them. No, you’ll need to play the level again and again just to find out where they’ll land to shoot there. Better time those bullets right! You don’t want to restart the level again.

Right when you’re done thinking that, a second apple will come out of nowhere. Time to restart.

The worst part is that the game just ramps up. Soon you’ll have to be shooting heat seeking bullets that will instantly off you, have to deal with spikes, and worst of all, fog that impairs your version so much that you can’t see the flying apples nor your enemies.

Did I mention I’m really not enjoying this?


Please make the suffering end.

While I’m not ready to review the game quite yet, as I have a few worlds let to explore, it’s safe to say that the game doesn’t deliver first impressions quite as well as Divinity Original Sin did. I can only hope this game gets better. If not, it might be time to seriously consider the Death Star idea.