The Trailer Report – 6/27/14

Hello, all you movie watchers out there! Welcome to The Trailer Report, where we’ll break down all of the week’s biggest movie and TV trailers, and try our best to answer the ultimate question for all trailers: Does it look good?

This week we’ve got homicidal judges, tank warfare, suicidal twenty-somethings, and some very large turtles.

Let’s get started:


About Alex

Seven college friends reunite over a three-day weekend after one of them attempts suicide, bringing to light old crushes and resentments.

Does it look good? Eh, not really. So, first off, a question. Has anyone actually been involved in one of these groups of friends: equal parts men and women, who seem to constantly hook up with each other and yet somehow still maintain a functional group dynamic? It’s a common trope in media, but I doubt the existence of such setups. Regardless of whether they exist or not, the dramas we keep getting about them are not really my thing. There’s just an awful lot of navel gazing and whining about their place in the universe, and the characters end up coming across as spoiled, self-absorbed brats. So, despite some solid talent involved, this one isn’t for me.



In the final weeks of World War II, a Sherman tank and her five-man crew go on a deadly mission behind enemy lines.

Does it look good? Sure does. Really solid war movies are few and far between, but when they do arrive, they are great. While I’m not 100% sure this will be one of those, I’d be willing to bet that it will. Pitt does seem to be doing a toned down, subtler version of his Aldo Raine character from Inglourious Basterds, but that’s not a bad thing. It looks like its going to be a pretty heavy movie, dealing with the trauma of essentially operating a giant murder machine. I haven’t liked director David Ayer‘s last two movies (End of Watch and Sabotage), but he seems to be stepping away from the bro-culture he was so enmeshed in with those, so I’m remaining optimistic for now.


The Judge

A big city lawyer returns to his childhood home where his father, the town’s judge, is suspected of murder.

Does it look good? Disappointingly, no. When I first heard about this project, I was excited. I was imagining a tense courtroom drama, with a deep, conflicted character role that Robert Downey Jr. would get to chew on. Essentially, I was imagining another A Time To Kill (still one of my favorite courtroom dramas). This does not appear to be that, at all. Instead, it looks to be a pretty sappy character piece about a father/son reconciliation; way less interesting. In hindsight it makes sense; the director seems to have done nothing but bland comedies up till now (and one good one). Still, for a film with this much talent in its cast, and this good a setup, it seems like a missed opportunity to make it so generically genial.


The Last Of Robin Hood

A look at last days in the life of legendary Hollywood actor Errol Flynn, and his relationship with a young actress.

Does it look good? Eh, not really. I’ve got no problem with the making of biopic of Errol Flynn, and Kevin Kline seems just fine as him. It’s the focus and tone that aren’t doing it for me here. First, I’m not sold on Dakota Fanning as a full grown adult actress; she just seems so bland. And the focus seems to be entirely on her relationship with Flynn, which doesn’t seem to be giving either of them much to run with. Plus, the tone seems way, way too light for a story about a fifty year old man who starts a sexual relationship with a fifteen year old girl in return for helping her with her career. With that as content, this should be a dark drama at best.


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Four mutant warriors fight to save their city from an evil kingpin.

Does it look good? Oh god, no. Look, like everybody else my age, I grew up with the turtles. I have as much of a soft spot in my heart for them as anyone. And what they are doing to them here is a travesty. I don’t actually mind the turtles themselves, they seem to be goofy, fun-loving ninjas I remember; it’s everything surrounding them that looks awful. The film seems to want to take on the hip, teenage tone the turtles have always had, except as interpreted by fifty year old white dudes who can’t stand their teenage kids. So what we get is out of nowhere dub-step music, nonsensically over-the-top action scenes, and a Shredder character design so ludicrous that the concept art must have come from a drunk 10 year old. Plus, this is coming from Michael Bay‘s camp, so expect it be three hours long and feature multiple scenes where Whoopi Goldberg tries to keep her dog from humping people’s legs.

That’s it for this week. Let me know in the comments which of these you’re most excited about, and which ones you want no part of.

Until next week!

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