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Monday Mysteries – Why Tingle, Just Why?
Welcome to Monday Mysteries, or as I like to say the first in a series of articles about my various Tingle theories. I’m just going to come right out and say it, Tingle is weird. Yes, I know that I’m not breaking any ground. Yes, I know that this is a generally accepted fact by fans of The Legend of Zelda franchise. But that doesn’t just change anything really. Tingle creeps me out. There’s just something wrong about him, something that screams serial killer to me. You just know that behind that genial smile lies the soul of a cold-blooded killer. You’re not fooling me Greenie.
The fans of The Legend of Zelda have many different thoughts on the character, there’s just so many questions. Really you either like Tingle, hate Tingle, or obsess over Tingle. What is it about Tingle that inspires strong reactions in not just me, but the entire fanbase. Well, for a long time I didn’t have an answer to that other than that he looked weird and insert a more than likely really offensive joke here. But as I started to do more research on the character I stumbled onto a theory that makes a lot of sense to me.
In The Legend of Zelda, we are supposed to be Link. He is the bridge between us and whatever adventure is happening. After-all that is the main idea behind why the character has never spoken. But let’s face it, we are not Link. We can never be Link. And I’m not talking about just physical appearance. No, its a little more insidious than that. We aren’t the hero who goes out and saves the entire world from darkness. Ladies and gentleman, I humbly submit to you the idea that we are in fact Tingle.
That’s right, he is the middle-aged (by the way I feel the need to say that I am not middle-aged), single, lonely man who spends all his time wearing his Link cosplay. He is a real-life larper who wanders around, telling anyone who will listen that he is in fact a fairy while speaking his now famous magic words – “Tingle, Tingle! Kooloo-Limpah!”
Tingle desperately wants to be Link, he wants to be cool. He wants to do anything other than working his menial job selling maps for his father, he wants to young and full of vinegar as they say. Adopting Link’s identity is his escape from the real world and his bland normal life. In essence Tingle could be considered as the stereotypical gamer, or at least what the mainstream considered to be the stereotypical gamer. And actually not that far from the nerd stereotype. Overweight and unattractive men, in their mid-thirties who work menial jobs, and depend on their parents. The guy who plays videogames, has no friends, and all the while has their parents wondering when the will finally grow up.
You may think I’m over-exaggerating, but here’s a question do you own any part of Link’s outfit? Do you own Zelda merchandise? If the answer is yes, then you should proudly own your Tingleness, Tingle.
But still, what the hell Nintendo? What are you trying to say? I’ll have you know that while I may have a deep abiding love from the series, I am not a Tingle. In fact most of us aren’t. At least not fully. I gather that I’m probably reading way to much into this and maybe some of my other Tingle theories would make way more sense in the end. And I but you can’t wait for all of that.
So I think I lost my train of thought. Oh yeah, we’re all Tingle according to Nintendo, and while a part of me rebels against that line of thinking I can’t help but be a little happy about it. I love The Legend of Zelda. I’m not ashamed of that. I own a Hyrule Historia, a Master Sword, an ocarina, several figurines, plushies, pillows, and clothes with characters and triforces on them. And I’m not ashamed of it. I will own my Tingleness in front of the world and ask here and now who among you is proud enough to join me.
On second thought, I just looked at a picture of our mascot. Let’s keep our love to ourselves.