Want to crush your challenges and kill scores in the games you play every day? Try these dexterity games to improve your speed and coordination. Read more →
Monday Mysteries: Happy Mother’s Day Cubone
Now don’t get me wrong because I’m not here to make Pokémon understandable. I’m not here to argue logic in a series where we make eldritch abominations fight for our own pleasure because the entire world’s economy depends on it. And honestly if I focused on every single weird thing in the series, this article would never end. At the very least it would be the start of it’s own sub-genre. But when I thought about it, there was really only one way I could write something for Monday Mysteries and honor Mother’s Day. Because when you think about, Cubone is messed up.
Yes that’s right. I’m talking about that cute little thing with the bone on it’s head. If you look at the original Pokédex entry from Pokémon Red and Blue, it clearly states that no one has seen it’s face because of the skull helmet on it’s head. And normally that wouldn’t bother me. We have cultures on our planet that have in the past done even more macabre things. If anything it could argued that the skull helmet is just a way for Cubone to announce itself as a badass.
But then we get into Pokémon Yellow, and that’s where things start to get creepy. The Pokédex stats that Cubone wears the skull of it’s dead mother and to help kill your childhood, it cries inside the skull to bless us with a sad melody. Oh, you might be asking whose responsible for the death of Cubone’s mom, well that would be Team Rocket. So really its personal angst is kind of justified, and depressing. Thanks, Nintendo.
Moving on in subsequent games, Nintendo added to Cubone’s background. Now, it pines for its mother constantly knowing that she’s dead. It also cries at the the full moon because it sees a likeness of mommy, so the stains on the skull are made by its tears of unfathomable sadness. So really, at least when it comes to the root of why Cubone is depressed there is no mystery. Instead it’s just Nintendo constantly trying to remind you that Cubone’s mom is dead. Of course that is interesting because we’ve never actually been faced with a Pokémon’s death before. In the game, they faint when they’ve been hurt enough and can be revived easily. Team Rocket killing a Pokémon is kind of a big deal.
And again things get weird when you start contemplating what Team Rocket did to Cubone’s mom? Did they manage to kill a Pokemon? Also how did Cubone get that skull of its mom’s dead body? Did it pry the skull out, or did it wait for it to decompose first.There is no real answer to that question because all we know is that shortly after Cubone is born, its mother died. All other details are left to our imagination. You’d think that things could be left there, but trust I’ve thought this through.
You must be saying, what there’s more that is strange about this situation. Yes, dear reader there is. Because there is more than one version of a Pokémon. Each one belongs to a species, there are hundreds of thousands of Pikachus which means that there is more than one Cubone. And may I remind you that the Pokédex clearly states that Cubone’s mom is dead, it’s walking around wearing her skull and Team Rocket killed her. So apparently Team Rocket has sworn a bloody vendetta against the Cubone species and is running around killing moms.
Or a less genocidal theory is that Cubone and their mothers have evolved into this neverending cycle of torment. That their mothers, I’m presuming that it’s Marowak, have evolved to die in childbirth and that Cubones have evolved to remove and wear its dead mom’s skull. I will acknowledge the theory that Cubone’s mother is actually Kangaskhan, however I believe that Marowak breeding disproves this line of questioning.
And that doesn’t even begin to cover what happens when their in captivity, because Marowak’s don’t die when you breed them to create a Cubone. So another theory could be that Cubones have multiple mothers, like a clan type situation, and the oldest one then sacrifices itself to keep the tradition alive. Or the most likely explanation is that I’m thinking about this way to hard and nothing that I’m saying makes any sense.
So in conclusion Cubone is weird, Pokémon is weird, and I’m going to bed. Happy belated Mother’s Day.