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The 10 Coolest Video Game Features to Have in Real Life
Let’s face it: we all wonder what it’d be like to live in a video game sometimes. Unlimited lives, cheat codes, invincibility. Gaming has it all, really! With that in mind, I’d like to muse upon the ten coolest video game features I’d like to have in real life (in no particular order).
1. Sleeping to recover health
This one always made me laugh. When has anyone ever gone to bed with a fresh gash across the torso from a foe’s blade and woken up completely healed? Nevertheless, that seems to be the logic in RPGs, and it would certainly be great if one night’s rest got rid of the flu.
2. Double jump
Did anyone else think of how ridiculous this is? You’re sprinting down the street and spring into the air with the muscles in your legs. Now, with nothing else to propel you in the air or no resisting force, you give those leg muscles another strain and, voila, you’ve just jumped again…in midair! Verily, this defies every law of physics, but man oh man, would it be cool to do.
3. Eliminate falling damage
Ask yourself a question: what stops you from trying to pull a Matrix and leap fifty feet to the rooftop across the street from twenty stories up? If you’re in the right video game, nothing! If you nix falling damage, you can fall ’til your heart’s content. Just remember, no matter how hard you try, you’ll never make it to the other side like Morpheus…unless maybe if you have that handy double jump.
4. Never have to use the bathroom
You ever notice how characters in video games often skip routine day-to-day functions, like eating, showering, and using the bathroom? Well, personally I’d like to keep the first two in my routine, but eliminating the need to go to the bathroom? Think about all the time you’d save if you didn’t have to sit on a toilet! Okay, moving on…
5. Save points
A fundamental fear of every human is failing. Psychologists and mental specialists will tell you failure’s a necessary part of growing, that to learn and progress we have to fail every now and then. The layman calls it “learning from your mistakes.” But what if there was some way to just go back and fix the problem without the repercussions of failure? If saving was part of everyday life, you’d still know the failure, but you could learn from it, reload, and try the same circumstance again with success! And if you can’t, maybe you need to restart your life and find some of those precious upgrades or do some level-grinding.
6. Several seconds of invincibility after being hurt – the “Blink Factor”
This one hearkens back to platformers. One of the oddest things about them is what I call the “Blink Factor.” Think back to your childhood real quick. You’re getting bullied ’cause your that kid who reads gaming articles like this one in his/her spare time, and the big, mean kid in class punches you square in the gut. In the real world, you double over and he clocks you again. In the platforming world? You’d merely blink in and out the corporeal world for a few seconds, during which time you’re completely invincible! That second blow goes straight through you and you’re free to retaliate…you know, with a fireball you generated from a flower you ate or something.
7. The endless sprint
Okay, so most modern shooters have corrected this flaw, even though characters in shooters can take a grenade explosion to the face and recover by hiding behind a rock, yet running for ten seconds wears them out. Particularly in old-school RPGs, however, there was no cap on running. You could sprint through villages and dungeons without a care in the world, including lung capacity. Wouldn’t that just be great? It might even make exercising not the most horrible activity in the known universe.
8. Regenerative health
Yeah, you knew this was coming. It made sense in Halo: Master Chief’s suit can recover health (or something like that). Sadly, every FPS since has emulated that feature, even when it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Get pumped in the chest by fifteen bullets? No problem. Just go duck behind that wall over there until the red tint in your eyes vanishes and you’re good to go! If only medical advancement could bring us to this stage…
I don’t know about you, but I often get frustrated by the things I wish I could do better, like playing musical instruments. In the game world, this isn’t a problem. When a new skill is needed, you typically just have to perform it once (or more simply, read a few tidbits in a manual) and you’ve mastered it! No sweat, no real time investment. Fortunately, scientific progression may actually make this one a reality in the future.
10. Skipping conversations/cut-scenes
This may be one many haven’t thought of, but my word, would it not be glorious? Remember sitting through really boring lectures in school. Just go to that pause menu and hit Start. Got in another spat with your significant other? Just mash that confirm button to rush through their emasculating diatribe. Ah, gaming’s simple pleasures.
There’s plenty that was left off here, so let’s open up the floor, shall we? What video game features would you like to have in real life?