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Video Game Characters We’d Love To Have For Parents on Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day: that one day of the year when everyone buys cards and flowers for the woman that brought them into the world. For us here in the UK, that day was the 30th March, and on that day we posed the all important question: if you could have any video game character as a parent, who would you have? (It’s amazing the things people think about sometimes!) So let’s have a look at the characters we’d love to have as our parents, on Mother’s Day or any other day of the year!
No. 1 – The Boss from Metal Gear Solid
Also known as The Joy, The Legendary Soldier and The Mercury Lady, she was the mother of Ocelot and the teacher of Naked Snake. She also helped to develop CQC, and was considered to be the ‘Mother’ to America’s special forces. Imagine having that as a mother! Not only would it have been one heck of a crazy ride, but you’d be proficient in combat and the arts of war. Pretty handy, unless you want to be a vet or a ballet dancer. The Boss is fiercely loyal to her country, and becomes incredibly loyal and drawn to Snake when he’s 15 since she was rendered infertile. It’s because of this that we think she’d make quite the loyal and strangely caring mother, but trying to get extra curfew time would be a problem since she’s so strong willed.
No 2. Joel from The Last Of Us
For anyone who has played The Last of Us, you probably know Joel is pretty much a father to Ellie anyway, so this one is a pretty obvious choice. Joel constantly goes above and beyond to save his ‘daughter’, protecting her from anything and everything. Okay, this might not be relevant, as we’re not nearing the end of the world or fighting the zombie apocalypse, but think of how that could translate to being a dad. Being bullied at school? Not a problem. Half way across the city and you suddenly realised you forgot something important? Not a problem, he’ll have it there come shine or blizzard. Joel also worked in construction, meaning he’d be great at all the DIY tasks important to a Dad, and he seemed to enjoy the occasional hike with his real daughter Sarah before the world went to hell. Smart and quick thinking, he’d make an interesting dad and a great asset if ever the world was infected by the mutant Cordyceps fungus.
No. 3. GLaDOS
First of all, GLaDOS is one of my favourites for a mother on Mother’s Day. You may spend your life being the subject of scientific experiment, being subjected to many tests, prods and challenges without the aid of a respawn, but think of the advances you’ll be able to achieve with her! And aren’t we really mini-experiments anyway? It would surely make birthdays different and interesting! In order to get to your presents, you have to progress through a series of challenges, turrets and tests. And think of the cake! Or lack of cake. The bad part of her being your mother would be that the cake is ALWAYS a lie. But you’re not going to get fat from eating too much under her supervision, and you’ll probably never experience sugar crashes or comas.
Another point about GLaDOS is that you would always be under supervision. Whether this is a good or a bad thing is up to you really. On one hand, you would never be able to sneak away to parties or anything, but if anything bad or worrying were to ever happen to you she would know straight away and deal with it. Probably with turrets. She may be a little crazy, but surely that would liven things up in the homestead, right?
No. 4. The Joker
He may not be the sanest of people. Heck, he’s probably about as crazy as you can get really, and he has a tendency of trying to kill people in bat costumes, but aren’t all dads kind of crazy too? It comes with the territory. For starters, Dad jokes. They’re generally quite iffy and only the Dad saying them actually finds them funny! It’s the same with the pranks the Joker pulls – iffy due to their destructive nature and only really funny to him or anyone under his laughing gas. Also dads tend to be embarrassing, especially in front of friends or when you’re at the cashier in the supermarket! Could you imagine the Joker being serious in either of those situations? If he’s not serious about being sent to Arkham Asylum (for the millionth time), then he’s hardly going to be serious about this. Your childhood would certainly be quite interesting and a little warped, but you might end up growing up with a dislike for furry flying creatures….
You may also end up slightly involved with a life of crime. Obviously the Joker is not a good guy, and most of his activities are questionable, but the Joker is a certified genius when it comes to planning how to kill the bat. He may be insane, but he knows how to plan things and get them done – days out would be epic!
No. 5. Lee Everett
Lee may as well already be a parent, as anyone who has played The Walking Dead will have seen. Lee is smart, independent and always watching over Clementine, the young girl he finds alone in her house. He also used to be a history professor before the zombie plague broke out and teaching became a little pointless. That already makes him a good candidate for a Dad, and he’s perfect for helping you with your homework! Bad grades would be a thing of the past. He’s also quite reasonable, so getting a little extra pocket money or staying out a little later once in a while may not be completely off the cards. He’s pretty handy at survival, so you do have that aspect in any end-of-the-world scenario, and he’s completely devoted to taking care of Clementine (his ‘adopted daughter’ of sorts). Imagine how devoted he’d be if the child was his own flesh and blood?
No. 6. Lara Croft
Another one of my favourite ‘mother’ candidates: Lara Croft. Having Lara Croft as your mum would always be an adventure. For starters you’d probably be rich. In case you didn’t know, Lara is relatively rich (in the earlier Tomb Raider) games, and owns her own mansion. It’s so large that it has a training hall and a giant walk-in freezer (which you’re guaranteed to lock the Butler in at least once!) And in Tomb Raider 2 it has an outdoor maze. Fun for all the kids! Then think of the day trips you’d have! Usually when parents say, “We’re going camping!” kids will groan in displeasure. Would you say no to going to the Himalayas with her? From deep sea diving to mountains and jungles, each ‘family bonding’ trip would be an experience. Lara has a deep knowledge of archaeology and enjoys climbing, water sports, horse back riding and archery (not to sound like a Lonely Hearts ad) so you’ll quickly develop a love for the outdoors.
No. 7. Taban
Ah Taban. One of Leviathyn’s writers suggested him, as he’s vaguely aware that his daughter is on a quest spanning the Earth’s entire history and he does everything he can to equip her with lots of bizarre and helpful gadgets along the way. Taban’s a blacksmith, so you’re sure to pick up some handy DIY skills with him as your dad!
Last but not least….. No. 8. Mad Moxxi
Ah Moxxi: all boobs, madness and entertainment. Surprisingly Mad Moxxi is already a mother to our dearly beloved Scooter (the lovely chap who provides you with vehicles in Borderlands) and four daughters, including Ellie. She’s the hostess of the Colosseum matches and the owner of two bars, and can pretty much be summed up with 4 words: sadistic, lustful, alluring and dangerous. She loves violence and combat, seeing the entertainment value in pretty much anything, so you’d expect to get into quite a few scraps if she was your mother. It wouldn’t help that she’s as lusty as they can get and, as you can tell from her outfit, doesn’t seem to be the most modest of mothers. She’s the kind who goes out wearing wildly inappropriate clothing for her age and trying her hardest to embarrass you both at home and in public. Despite these potentially negative quirks, Moxxi is a caring mother and is very protective of her family and those she considers close. As her child you could always count on her to have your back, and she always comes equipped with the right weapons if you’re ever out-gunned in a fight. Granted you may end up a little strange after a few years, but a little quirkiness never hurt anybody, right?
And there you have it, 8 characters we would love to have as parents! The list could probably go on and on (heck, imagine the Master Chief as your dad). If you could pick anyone as your mum and dad combo, who would it be? It’s a pretty vast gaming universe out there, so there’s bound to be some pretty awesome combinations.