The Trailer Report – 2/28/14

Hello, all you movie watchers out there! Welcome to The Trailer Report, where we’ll break down all of the week’s biggest movie and TV trailers, and try our best to answer the ultimate question for all trailers: Does it look good?

This week we’ve got a backwoods cult, a penis museum, a juvenile delinquent, and one very angry lizard.

Let’s get started:


The Cold Lands

When a young boy’s mother dies, he goes on the run in an attempt to fend for himself.

Does it look good? Very Possibly. It looks like a fairly charming coming of age story, with the focus on doing that growing without a parental figure around to guide it. It’s got a similar feeling to last years Mud, and I loved that one.

The Final Member

A documentary look at the saga of a penis museum and its quest to feature the first human penis.

Does it look good? Oh boy, I don’t know. I’m always interested in a quirky documentary about crazy people, and this one looks to be that and then some. The sheer amount of opportunities here to see naked old man crotch, however, has me doubting whether I’ll actually ever have the guts to sit down and watch it.


60 years after the infamous lizard terrorized Japan, he’s back to wreak a whole lot of destruction.

Does it look good? Holy hell, yes. I was initially extremely pessimistic about the whole concept of rebooting Godzilla, but I love the direction they seem to be going with it now. It’s seems to be more that of really serious disaster movie than monster movie, with a great sense of impending doom pervading the whole thing, making the giant lizard feel more like a force of nature than anything else.

The Protector 2

When a young martial arts experts pet elephant is kidnapped, he must fight to save him.

Does it look good? Possibly. I’ll be honest, I never saw the first Protector. Being even more honest, I’ve never even seen a single Tony Jaa movie at all. That being said, his films always look to have excellent fight scenes and choreography, and this looks no different. Although, this movie is also about a man saving his pet elephant (who I never saw in the trailer) so who the hell knows.


A film crew conducts interviews with a backwoods cult, and finds more than they bargained for.

Does it look good? Eh. Found footage? check. Protagonists are a bunch of slightly douchey 20-something white males? check. Creepy religious overtones? check. Cult where people aren’t as happy as they initially appear? check. Absolutely nothing about this movie hasn’t been done before.


 Silicon Valley

A group of young computer geniuses decide to start their own tech company.

Does it look good? Yeah, could be. It looks funny and clever enough, and I’m always down for Martin Starr getting more work. It’s also got Mike Judge behind it, which is a huge bump for me. My only concern is the slight Big Bang Theory vibe I get, with the show possibly slipping into just laughing at nerds, but we’ll have to wait and see on that.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars – The Lost Missions

The cancelled show gets picked up by Netflix, who will attempt to wrap up the story in a final season.

Does it look good? Pretty good. I’ve only caught bits and pieces of this show when it was on The Cartoon Network, but it seemed solid (and only occasionally kiddy) action fare. Now that its on Netflix, though, I have little reason not to run the entire show up until this final season.

That’s it for this week. Let me know in the comments which of these you’re most excited about, and which ones you want nothing to do with.

Until next week!