The Trailer Report – 1/31/14

Hello, all you movie watchers out there, and welcome to The Trailer Report, where we’ll break down all of the week’s biggest movie and TV trailers, and try our best to answer the ultimate question for all trailers: Does it look good?

This week we’ve got a Disney villain, a suicide pact, old folks get trippy, and cowboys get funny.

Let’s get started:


The Fault In Our Stars

Two teenagers with terminal illness’ fall in love during what could be the girl’s last months.

Does it look good? Not for me; but the Nicholas Sparks crowd should eat this up. I do find it funny that the opening lines are about not being sugar coated, yet the trailer is about as sappy and flowery as they get. And I do take some exception to overly poetic teenage romance in films; how many of us were actually spouting such pretentiously overwrought lines when we were sixteen, exactly?


 The Grand Seduction

A tiny seaside Scottish village attempts to convince a doctor to move in so that they might qualify to have a plant built nearby.

Does it look good? Eh, it looks harmless. If it’s going for comedy, it certainly didn’t elicit any laughs out of me, but it looks to be non-offensive and entertaining enough. It seems to have a similar vibe to The Full Monty and Waking Ned Devine, and if it can hit either of those points it’ll be doing well.


In Fear

A young couple finds themselves being stalked while driving through some deep, dark woods.

Does it look good? Maybe. It’s harder to discern quality out of these horror movie trailers that offer only snippets of actual content. Like The Babadook last week, this one is unclear on the actual nature of the threat. Is it supernatural, a mind game, or just your standard terrorizing hillbillies? There’s no way to tell here, though it does have a bit more of a slasher vibe than I’m hoping for.


A Long Way Down

A group of people who almost attempt suicide on the same night at the same place come together to become a makeshift family unit.

Does it look good? Despite myself, it actually does. I feel kind of hypocritical for ragging on The Fault In Our Stars for being sappy, and yet liking this one despite the same affliction. But despite the sappiness of it, these are all good actors, and there does seem to be genuine chemistry between them. And in spite of the subject matter, it looks like much more fun.



The classic Disney villain stars in her own film as she clashes with a king and his army.

Does it look good? Deceptively so. It’s got vibes of Snow White and The Huntsman or 47 Ronin with its smoothed out fantasy look, especially the tree creatures, which while cool looking, also seem somehow generic (it’s almost as if the same special effects group is making all the Hollywood monsters from the same template nowadays.) Still, Disney has been on an uptick in the animated department, and this film is attempting to bridge that world with their live action ventures, so it will be interesting to see how it goes.


A Million Ways To Die In The West

Seth MacFarlane’s follow up to Ted stars himself as a wannabe gunslinger trying to stay alive in the Wild West.

Does it look good? Yep. It looks pretty funny, but of course, your mileage is going to vastly vary depending on your reaction to MacFarlane’s particular brand of puerile humor. It seems to remain unchanged here from Ted or Family Guy, but really, the sheer novelty of a comedy set in the wild west is enough to sell me.


The Quiet Roar

A dying woman is given the opportunity to spend her last days alive inside of her own mind.

Does it look good? Not really. It looks like a more dramatic, serious version of The Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, and that film was being propped up heavily by its humor and whimsy. This looks like it could get real ponderous and contemplative real quick.


The Zero Theorem

A depressed man in a strange future begins to work on a project to prove that nothing matters.

Does it look good? Who the hell knows. Is Terry Gilliam getting weirder and weirder, or is it just me? This one looks as colorful and bizarre as most of his work, but also seems fairly inscrutable to boot. Factor that in with what look to be off the wall performances from a huge cast, and I actually still have no idea what this movie is.  Something odd, for certain.

That’s it for this week.  Let me know in the comments which of these you’re most excited about, and which ones turned your stomachs.

Until next week!