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5 Characters Nintendo Don’t Have The Guts To Add To Super Smash Bros.
You Cowards. You sneering craven weaklings, sitting high and mighty atop your ivory tower! Oh MegaMan’s in smash, oh we’re so kooky, look, we put the Wii Fit Trainer in their too. Colour me unimpressed. You know what, colour me bored… Everyone has their own wish list for characters they’d like to see in the new Smash, and those are all lame as well. No one is willing to go the extra mile; no one is prepared to welcome the true champions of Nintendo into the midst. So I’m calling you out, that’s right. You snivelling wussies, you don’t have the courage, the guts, to code in these characters! Mets.
Villainous foes are no stranger to the Smash Bros games. Bowser, Gannondorf and even Wolf have all made appearances. I say its time MegaMan’s eternal foes make their début to the fighting genre. Mets, have always been the proverbial thorn in the lions paw. They may seem insignificant but put in the right place they cause a hell of a lot of pain to even giants. Their move set is easy to imagine. Down B would function exactly the same as Kirby’s does and neutral B would obviously be the three way bullets. The other moves… they don’t need anything else! Pure killing power. Wario Ware Nose.
Wah Wah Wah. Ashley’s only a support trophy, Wah. I’m an idiot who doesn’t appreciate the true king of Wario Ware, Wah. Bunch of slack jawed morons, you don’t know what you want. Thankfully I do. The great and powerful nose!!! This competitor is nothing to sneeze at, giant appendages have made their appearances in the past what with Master Hand and all. Not only that but the hand and the nose are intrinsically linked; who do you think is picking that nose. I know I’d be picking him if I saw it there in character select. Kaz Hirai.
Proof, if ever more was needed, that the fans know not what they do. The petition is for Reggie FIls Aime to join the crew, but you’re voting for the wrong businessman. No man’s body will be ready when Kaz comes leaping into the fray crying with a voice as fierce as gales, “Riiiiiiidge Racer!”. Put Reggie in too while you’re at it, I’ve always wondered who’d win in a fight. Ivy.
Two things make Ivy stand out to me. The first is that doubly dangerous blade she carries around with her. Keeping it limp in one instant that rocking it fully erect as a blade the next. Truly a masterful warrior. The second is the fact that her home franchise, Soul Calibur, is owned by the very same company co developing the new Smash. Namco Bandai have already joined forces with Nintendo, now lets have them join universes. And if she’s too sexy just put in Bayonetta or something… Zubaz.
Nintendo has a history of missing the boat. Keeping cartridge media far too long, getting HD 7 years too late and now they risk missing the biggest boar yet, virtually the Titanic. The booming Kickstarter scene has seen rise to three crowd funded games: ColossalKaiju Combat, Dive Kick and Shovel Knight. What links these three enterprises? The once rejected Street Fighter, Zubaz! These games are already successful ever before release, all thanks to The Baz… and the crowd sourcing (Mostly The Baz). How many games can you say are profitable pre-release hey Nintendo? He’s already been rejected once, don’t do it to the man again. Or you’ll feel the storm.