games suck

“Video Games Suck” According to John Bradley

The following dictates a conversation I had with someone who knows nothing at all about video games. This outlook on gaming is one that a surprising number of people actually do share. It is their total ignorance about what gaming actually is that still perpetuates this myth of video gamers being violent, stupid and unfit people. Though it is more often the people that accuse gamers of being like this who actually have these characteristics themselves.

Leviathyn

John, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you after all this time. So what is it you do exactly?

John Bradley

Well, I studied at Yale University up until 2011 but due to a highly competitive engineering job market, have decided to work at a McDonalds for now.

Leviathyn

I see, well if you could please give us your stance on video games that would be lovely. Why do you think they suck?

John Bradley

Oh certainly, to me video games have always been a foolish, useless and depraved activity that helps no one at all. Think of it in layman terms, you read a couple books and you get smarter, that’s just the way it is. But with games, they don’t do nothing but make you sit there and play like a zombie, all brain dead and such. You get fatter and dumber while on the joysticks.

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Leviathyn

John, you do realize video games haven’t used joysticks since… you know what, never mind. Is there any statistical evidence you have to back these claims against games up? Or this all just an opinion and not so much fact?

John Bradley

Opinion? OPINION? Has it not been proven by the fine people at every University on the planet with all those numerous tests that video games – especially violent ones – give kids the jimmies to get out there and start being all aggressive to each other? That’s no opinion, a link between increased aggression and video games has been proven time and time again!

Leviathyn

So you – John Bradley of McDonalds and Yale fame – are saying video games suck because of a couple tests? Now, you do realize for every test proving that video games increase violence in people there is one that says they do not?

John Bradley

Well now you’re just makin’ stuff up.

Leviathyn

No I’m not, that is a proper fact. Literally half of all tests into video game violence come back negative.

John Bradley

Well, whatever. They still suck because of all the flashy lights and everything moves too damn fast! And not to mention you get fatter while you sit there and play.

Leviathyn

These are not solid criticisms John, they’re more just opinions on why you don’t like video games. It seems that just because you don’t like them others shouldn’t either, which is completely nonsensical. Besides, if you stand up and do squats while playing games you can actually become FITTER!

John Bradley

Can we please end this interview now?

Leviathyn

We certainly can John. Thank you for taking the time to talk with us.

John Bradley

Whatever.

 



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