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Would you Rather? Gamer Edition (part 2)
I like to think I’m a pretty adventurous guy. My adventures, however, tend to be limited by where my feet or public transportation can take me. Time and time again I’ve stared longingly at a massive building and wondered what it would be like to go right over it. The thing is, however, that there are multiple fantastical manners of transportation. While I would like to have access to all of them, I limited myself to two of my in-game favorites for the sake of comparison.
Would I rather be able to free run like an Assassin from the Assassin’s Creed series or have unlimited grappling hooks like Rico from Just Cause 2?
I’ve spent so much time plane hooking, helicopter hooking, boat hooking, car hooking, motorcycle hooking, and person hooking in Just Cause 2 that I’m amazed I haven’t gotten Rico arrested for prostitution (although it may have something to do with the fact that most of the in-game police force is stuck together with harpoons). Unlimited grappling ability allows for an unparalleled level of mobility. I’m assuming for the sake of argument that, through some miracle of science, my arm would not be jerked from its socket every time I launched myself to a location. There’s also the option to dangle precariously yet securely if I should so choose, perhaps to have some tea.
As cool as endlessly replenishes metal spikes sound, though, there are certain issues that significantly lessen the allure. For one, this method of travel could only be more conspicuous if it somehow involved explosive fart propulsion. As far as subtlety is concerned, free running (as a self contained activity) simply doesn’t have the same “shock and awe” effect that slamming a hole in a wall with a pointy object does; speaking of which, law enforcement agents would be after me even more than they usually are on charges of destruction of property. Also murder. Probably murder at some point.
The movement of the Assassins, while requiring far more physical exertion and a risk of falling to an untimely death because of a misjudged leap, is a much lower key option. Leaps of faith into dumpsters and hot dog stands render elevators irrelevant. The top shelf with the cookies is suddenly no problem to reach. Every hoody I wear makes me look cool rather than lazy. Life is good. Sure the Just Cause 2 method is great if you want to tear stuff up- and I do- but that is not an activity that is smiled or often called upon in modern society. Seriously- I can’t even remember the last time I needed to hijack a helicopter that was already in the air. I’ve got to accept that I am no Rico… which is good because his voice over is terrible.
Winner: Assassin’s Creed free running
Disagree? Agree for different reasons? Tell me about it by commenting down below!
Also, feel free to offer suggestions for the next “Would you Rather?” for Gamers!