The List Of Shame: Games That I Haven’t Beaten

It takes a strong person to admit his or her shortcomings. In a gamer’s case, it takes a strong player to admit the titles that they passed over, or even worse, started but didn’t finish. It’s not expected that every player will finish what he starts, but everyone has a few digital skeletons in their closet, games that cause a “HOLY CRAP YOU NEVER PLAYED THAT” or “WHY DIDN’T YOU FINISH THAT YOU DOPE” type of response.

This is a selection of those games on my list. This article will also serve as a forum for you readers to talk about the games you’ve never finished. No judgment, no insults, just honest discussion. Others may tell you why you NEED TO FINISH THAT FREAKIN’ GAME RIGHT NOW, but we won’t make you feel like a turd. Not intentionally, anyway.

Here we go:

Bastion: One of 2011’s best downloadable sits unfinished on my 360 hard drive. It’s an excellent game, with its reactive narration and Diablo-esque gameplay, but it just got crushed under the volume of the 2011 holiday retail rush. I feel like it’s easier to forget downloadable titles than retail, because there isn’t a game box guilting me into playing it. Especially with the current 360 dashboard format where you have to go searching for your download library. These are all lame excuses, and I fully plan to get back into Bastion and finish it because it’s worth it, but as of now I haven’t and it makes me sad. I can hear the narrator now: “The kid’s just taking his sweet time, not going anywhere for a while, like he’s waiting for his guide to show him the way.”

Dead Space: I tried to play through Dead Space, I really did. However, this game taught me something about myself that I’ve taken to heart: I just can’t do horror games alone. Yep, I’m a big scaredy cat oaf when it comes to games meant to give players the willies. Perhaps it’s because I’m larger man and I fear having a coronary due to a video games. Maybe it’s because of that time I decided to stop playing F.E.A.R.1 for the night right when she breaks out at the end, giving me nightmares and keeping me awake for the entire night. It could just be that I get freaked out easily. Whatever it is, Dead Space created a mental block for horror games that I can’t get over. Resident Evil 6 should be fun in October.

Brutal Legend: I LOVED Brutal Legend. Being a fan of metal music, Double Fine’s hack-and-slash/real-time strategy hybrid was right in my wheelhouse. Yes, the gameplay took some getting used to, but the excellent voice acting and great story more than made up for it. Those reading this are probably thinking “this isn’t all that humiliating, why does this make the list?” Well, it qualifies because of where I stopped playing the game: my save is literally at the final boss fight. All I have to do is boot the game and fight one Stage Battle to see the ending. How many games are played to the climax then left alone? I can’t imagine many, so to be one of the perpetrators of this horrid practice is downright shameful. I really oughta finish it.

Dead Rising: This falls under the “play every game in the franchise except the original” category that PS3 Mass Effect fans can fully understand. The only difference here is that I PLAYED EVERYTHING ELSE ON THE XBOX 360, WHERE THE ORIGINAL GAME DEBUTED. Hell, the first downloadable chapter, Case Zero, is the only game on my 360 with all achievements unlocked. I couldn’t get enough of Fortune City in both retail games, but for some reason Willamette Mall couldn’t grab my attention back when I first tried it. When I have nothing to play, I plan on going back and conquering Frank West’s first adventure once and for all, but at the moment I sit not having played the first in the franchise, but every other game since.

Metroid Prime: The case of Metroid Prime is particularly interesting. This was one of the first games I ever owned for the Gamecube, at a time when Super Mario Sunshine and Super Smash Brothers Melee dominated playtime. When I finally put Metroid in, I couldn’t figure out how to get out of the first area of the game, and a lack of patience made me turn it off and go back to the other two games. As a result, I never went back to Prime, my short fuse costing me an entire series of excellent games (or so I’m told). I really want to get back to Metroid Prime, as I feel like I didn’t give it a proper chance, but Lord knows when I’ll be able to do that. Maybe if I can get my hands on the Trilogy for Wii…when it’s not $80 used online.

The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask: Oh boy, here it comes. Look, I’ve played every other Zelda game ever made (save the CD-I games…I like to think those don’t exist). I tried Majora’s Mask. I gave it a fair shake. I just couldn’t get into it. I don’t know if it was the whole three day thing, the mask system, Tingle…I’ve got no explanation for why I haven’t beaten Majora’s Mask. I know I’m not along though, as I’ve talked to many who feel the same way. Those that have beaten Majora’s Mask, though, LOVED it. Hopefully Nintendo re-releases it in 3D as they did Ocarina of Time, giving schlubs like me a chance to redeem ourselves. If not, then I’ll have to download it on WiiWare and power through it. I’ll play it, Zelda fans. I promise.

Final Fantasy VI: Here it is, the one that will send the most people into a tizzy. I was introduced to Final Fantasy with VIII, which I loved. From there, I played IX, then went back to VII before PS2 came out and I played X. VI was released on PS1 as part of the Final Fantasy Anthology, but by then I was playing other things. I finally started VI when I bought it on the PlayStation Network, and my save is still there, so there is hope for me here. However, I have to admit that I have not finished what many consider to be the best Final Fantasy game in existence, despite having playing virtually every game that followed it. This one will be corrected and soon, I promise.

There you go, seven games to get on me about not finishing. If you’re brave enough to share that which remains on your backlog, join me in my ineptitude. I’d love to hear it.



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