sackboy

Five Awesome Video Game Silent Protagonists (That Aren’t Gordon Freeman)

Video game characters that talk are over-rated. Don’t get me wrong, I love Nolan North’s vocal chords as much as the next person but sometimes you just don’t need a character to speak. There are quite a few mute characters in the virtual universe but which ones are the best at keeping quiet? Here’s the list, in no particular order…

Chell (Portal)

With Wheatley, GLaDOS and even the turrets nattering on and on all the time – who needs our protagonist to talk back? Chell never uttering a word is a running joke in the Portal series but to be honest, she doesn’t need to. The storytelling is done for you in this first-person-puzzler and the lack of Chell chit-chat helps tell the story far better than most games ever dream to.

Link (Legend of Zelda series)

Ahh Link. So serious, so quiet and often mistaken for having a girl’s name. Link is the silent hero, and the only noise he ever makes is when he’s thrusting a sword into Ganondorf’s belly. Quite right too, Link just wants to get the job done – words won’t get the princess saved. Although we’re all quite surprised he hasn’t uttered a single expletive at those violent chickens yet…

Prince (Katamari series)

Poor Prince, his father accidentally destroys the universe and now he has to rebuild all the planets, moons and stars by rolling a big sticky ball around and picking up random objects. If that wasn’t bad enough, Prince can never do enough to please his picky father, the King of All Cosmos. The Prince stays quiet and takes all the criticism on the chin, after all, nothing good ever came from talking back to your dad.

Crash Bandicoot (Crash Bandicoot series)

In the original Crash Bandicoot games, Crash never spoke and there was a good reason for that, because when Crash finally did talk, gamers everywhere were outraged. Back when the bandicoot was an iconic character, the only thing he ever said was “Woah!” when he died. Everyone else around him spoke, even the magical mask Uka Uka acted as a narrator and tutorial guide. Crash didn’t need to speak though, all his emotions were expressed by his thumbs coming up and crazy dances. We miss you, Crash.

Sackboy (LittleBigPlanet)

When you have the calming, smoothing voice of Stephen Fry as LittleBigPlanet’s narrator, the main character really doesn’t need a voice. It’s likely Sackboy was based on a children’s stuffed toy, they can never speak but the story is told by your own imagination. Sackboy expresses himself by pulling all sorts of faces: sadness, fear, happiness and anger can all be shown by the push of a directional button. He can also be dressed up in any sort of outfit you want – Sackboy would definitely lose cuteness points if he could talk.

That’s my five video game mutes, I know you probably all want to hit me for not choosing Gordon Freeman from Half Life but I felt like he was the obvious choice. If you think I’m wrong, please let me know and leave a comment.



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