The game of the week for this week's Retro Weekly is one that is very close to my heart: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
Why Did They Add That? 10 Terrible Game Features
Every game has parts that some people like, and others hate. But there are a couple of features in games that not a single person is happy with. They might be frustrating, annoying, or just don’t add anything. Here is a list of 10 things that developers should have just left out.
10. Halo Announcements
No one can deny that Halo’s multiplayer is fun but the game would almost be more fun if it was on mute. “Gained the lead, Tied the lead, Lost the Lead, Double Kill, Gained the Lead.” That commentators voice constantly ringing in my ear could have been easily replaced by a little font telling me I’m winning in the corner. The audio commentary would even be helpful if he wasn’t commenting on every action going on in the game. Sorry Halo voice, but I got that double kill two deaths ago, you’re still just catching up.
I completed the main quest, I’ve done every side quest, unlocked every weapon and found every follower. Why does it say I’ve completed only 50% of the game? So many games have collectibles hidden throughout their levels that players are expected to go out and find. Whether it’s gathering flags or shooting pigeons, these collectibles usually only give players an achievement. This waste of time has found its way into too many titles to name and doesn’t add anything to the game play. Who actually goes around trying to find them all?
8. Trading to Evolve Pokémon
How does trading a Pokémon with your friend make it evolve? I’m sure developers thought this was a ground breaking idea, but when it was implemented it turned out to be just a hassle. You need two Gameboys, two versions of Pokémon, and a cord to connect them. It probably was just a money making technique for Nintendo, which would explain why some of the coolest Pokémon like Alakazam and Gengar only evolve this way. Plus, now that I’m in College, it’s embarrassing to ask my roommate to borrow his Gameboy to trade Pokémon.
Red Dead Redemption has so many cool things to do. Horse races, hunting, finding treasure, killing bandits, starting duels…. And then it has the mini-games. Sorry Rockstar, but I don’t feel like wasting my time playing five fingers and horseshoes when there are innocent civilians to rob. Poker and Blackjack would be fun if I could win more than $100. And virtual arm wrestling? Who would ever want to do that? Why are you going to limit my outfits because I don’t want to waste my time with games I wouldn’t play in real life?
6. Death Streaks in Call of Duty
Since when did games reward losers? In Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and 3 the multiplayer tried to balance things out by giving people rewards if they died enough times in a row. I understand the idea, and it could make the game fun, but the perks were way too over powered. Why should I be punished for getting a kill streak by a dead guy who can’t get any kills strapped with C4?
This feature could have been awesome if it actually worked. But unfortunately, the phone and internet were nothing but annoying. Trying to make a functioning virtual internet is one of those projects that’s just too hard to actually do. It was Rockstar’s idea of getting players engrossed in the game. The only thing more pointless than the internet in GTA IV is getting a phone call in the middle of a chase from Roman saying, “Hey cousin, let’s go bowling!”
This is another feature that has found its way into numerous games. Alcohol makes your screen unrealistically blurred and confusing. How does having my virtual character drink translate into my entertainment? It doesn’t. It makes me fall down and crash my car. Developers, stop making in-game booze and send the next copy of your game out with a bottle of Jameson.
Now that is a video game feature I’d go crazy over.
3. Cut Scenes You Can’t Skip
Cinematic breaks can be a powerful tool for developers when used right. They add story and flair that couldn’t be added with the player in control. However, as a gamer I should have the right to skip it if I want to. Especially if I am replaying the game for a second time and know exactly what’s going to happen in the cut scene even before it plays. This is a feature that can ruin the excitement of gaming and destroy any chances for replay value. I’m looking at you L.A. Noire.
Specifically, his appearance in the Wind Waker is what set players off on Tingle. The annoying little bodied big nosed green creep has to be one of the worst additions to a game ever. He charges players outrageous fees to decipher their maps and gives players one of the most useless items ever made. The Tingle Tuner itself is a terrible feature that somehow tried to get people to play their GBA on their Gamecube. All I can do is shake my head at Tingle and wonder what Nintendo was thinking when they added him.
Skyrim’s wood cutting is the worst feature in one of the best games. Bethesda wanted to “immerse players in the daily life on Skyrim’s citizens.” But I don’t want to spend time in a video game doing every day activities when there are dragons to fight and adventures to be had. The repetitiveness of chopping wood at least gives you planks to sell, but the saw mill? You move some logs around and get no benefit out of it. Couldn’t developers spend more time fixing bugs and adding content instead of making an interactive saw mill? That’s why this tops the list as the most useless and terrible game feature.